Ogre – Dawn of the Proto-Man
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I saw the ever-righteous Ogre ply their space-Hobbit thunderboogie onstage at Boston’s annual white trash apocalypse The Redneck Fest in 2000, which was fabulously ironic- I mean, how much of a redneck can you possibly be when you hail from Maine, the northernmost state in the entire fuckin’ country? Anyway, they came on like Spinal Tap, BTO, Uriah Heep, and, I dunno, some kinda stonerfuzz trip, all at once. It was a memorable performance, of that I will attest. I actually had not heard a peep from their camp in the last few years, and presumed ‘em missing in action, until, inexplicably enough, my supermodel buddy Isadora Edison implored me to give their new record a spin. She even sent it to me, for Chrissakes. The lesson learned? When it comes to Ogre, Jack, you just gotta roll with it, cuz strangeness abounds.

The supermodel approved “Dawn of Proto-Man” is a concept record, of that I am certain; there are caveman assaulting spacemen on the cover, and that, brother, is highly conceptual. Dutifully, I went over to their website to read along with the lyrics as they bellowed through the funky doom-jams on display, to figure out just what this “Proto-Man” jive was all about. Turns out, it’s about KISS, giant aliens from the future, ill-fated bomber pilots, and the plague. Not all at once, but at least in rapid succession. And all the while, these strange words float in a sticky syrup of jazzy noodling, ancient Sabbath riffs, and the occasional moment or two of arena rock bombast. “78”, the KISS song, ironically sounds just like AC/DC, and most of the other songs sound either like Iron Maiden covering Status Quo, or the other way around. It sounds like the enthusiastic work of a buncha aging metalheads growing quietly mad in the sticks, and that’s exactly what it is. As such, it couldn’t be more perfect, unless they took to wearing purple velvet waistcoats onstage, or something. If you thought fog machine metal was dead, then baby, Ogre are here to wake you the fuck up. Your own private Stonehenge awaits.
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