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Demo Reviews May, 2004 |
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Juliana Kincaid is one of those porn chicks with
a “girl-next-door” vibe. This is nonsense, of course, cuz if they had
girls like Juliana next door, nobody would need porn. Anyway, she’s very
pretty, and she doesn’t trust me for a second, which are two qualities I
like in a girl. You can see the young (22) Juli in such notable
teen-ass-romps as Rump Riders, Young Stuff 9 and Fresh Meat 17, as well as
on our good friend Rodney Moore’s site, which is where these photos were
taken, on the set of Goo Girls. Onwards. |
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 After
a creepy intro (“And it Ends Today”) that sounds like an
eye-in-the-sky chopper report of a zombie plague, Burned In slash
their way through 4 skull crackin’ tracks. “Suffering in Silence”
sounds kinda like Exodus gone crazy. It’s thrash metal on bad
amphetamines, fulla berserk screaming and squealing guitars. The other
three tracks veer closer to some unholy death-core alliance, part mosh-pit
apocalypse, part meat-grinder flail. The production is stellar, the
musicianship is tight enough to appear as though possessed of spectral
forces, and the songs, while quite insane, are pretty, uh, ‘catchy’. Of
course, it shredded my nerves like wet newspaper within minutes, but I’m
pretty sure that’s the whole idea anyway. Juliana: So, is this gonna be one of those deals where you make fun of the porn star for being dumb? Sleaze: No. Although it would help if you were. It’s funnier that way. Juliana: Well, I’m not, and that sounded either like Metallica, or a dog fight. Sleaze: what would happen if Metallica got eaten by wild dogs? Juliana: I wish the fucking dogs would get here already. ______________________________________________________________________________ |
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Resinators 6 songs the-resinators.com Chicago rattleheads the Resinators have been at it for about 15 years now. 15 fuckin’ years of dirty, black-hearted rock n’ roll. At this point, they can just carve this stuff directly into yr chest, and you won’t even notice til the blood starts flowing. This time around they would like to introduce you to their leggy new axe-girl Dallas. There’s no report here on whether she’s actually from Dallas, or whether it’s her stripper name, or whether she’s a stripper FROM Dallas, but one thing is for certain- she’s got the Thunders instinct for shaky-legged Chuck Berry swagger down cold, and she just rocks these songs like they’re gonna kill her if she doesn’t kill them first. The Rez prescription for mayhem is dive-bombing garage punk recorded deep in the red, and that’s what ya get here, man, half a dozen tracks worth of rattlesnake geetars and a manly, drunken bellow from Ed (just “Ed”). My money’s on the acidic party-killer “Wish You Would Shake”, a a blast of fuck-on-the-floor trash punk, but really, it’s not like there’s any ballads to wade through here. It’s rock and roll all-nite kinda situation here. I can dig it. |
 Juliana: It’s sloppy, but I think it’s
supposed to be. It sounds like crazy party music.Sleaze: Oh yeah, totally. Juliana: Like, yu're at the bar, and there's people fighting, and somebody's getting head in the bathroom. Sleaze: And this is the band playing. Juliana: And then you puke in your purse! Sleaze: Um, ok. Juliana: Do they drink, this band? Sleaze: Constantly. Juliana: The should look into rehab. |
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High School Motherfuckers Want Some? 5 songs highschoolmotherfuckers Well, “French” and “Motherfucker” are used in the same sentence so often that it’s just perfect, really, that the High School Motherfuckers hail from France. The HSMFs started life as a Ramones tribute band, ‘cept they don’t actually sound a thing like the Ramones, which may explain why they play their own songs now. It’s a good thing, too, because the band plays a killer confection of catchy glam punk and rootsy rock n’ roll, somewhere betwixt Hanoi Rocks, the early, punky Goo Goo Dolls, and Norwegian suicide-glitter cats the Trashcan Darlings. Best of the bunch here is “Spider”, a gleefully poppy song that sounds like an out-take from the Babysitters album, just a perfect glam rocker, fulla hooks and warm guitars and La-la-la’s. Great stuff. |
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 They do, in fact, do a cover of “Blitzkrieg
Bop” here, and it sounds just like the Razzle-fronted versh Hanoi used to do. There’s 3 other jukebox-ready glitter-hits here, too,
and if it all sounds a little familiar, that’s cuz there a couple member
of Hungarian glam-punks the Suckerstarz on deck . Now, I know what yr
thinking. I just checked too, and Hungary isn’t even close to France, but
that’s rock n’ roll, baby, a global situation. At any rate, this is a
killer demo, EP, whatever ya want to call it, fulla great songs and all
wrapped in a porno-girl cover. Bitchin’. Juliana: The best part is the accent! Ees fun, no? Sleaze: Yeah, ya can’t even fake that. Juliana: I would ball this whole band. Are they ugly? Sleaze: well, they’re hairy. Juliana: French and hairy. I am totally gonna fuck them. ______________________________________________________________________________________ |
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Ford T Renegade Rock 5 songs www.fordt.dk These Danish denim demons lay down some vintage superboogie here, as they riff n’ roll their way through 5 Thin Lizzy/Bob Seger -inspired arena rockers. If you dig 70’s hard rock ( and please, who the fuck doesn’t?), Ford T got it all, man - dueling guitars that harmonize sweetly before splitting off to groove on their own trips, convincingly bloozy ego-star vox, and catchy, heavy songs. Pretty killer, and even if the lyrics don’t get much more complex then “I got a truck/I got a truck/I got a truck/I got a truck” (from, ahem, “I Got a Truck”), it all hangs together beautifully, with just enuff Nugent-style Southern twang (dig the slide guitar action on the title track) to justify 5 songs about driving trucks. Actually, you don’t really need any justification for songs about trucks, but you know know what I mean. Anyway, even if you don’t know how to operate air-brakes (Ford T probably don’t either), take these Renegade rockers for a ride anyway, man. This stuff sounds just about perfect with an open highway in front of you, of that much I am certain. |
 Juliana:
This sounds like something my dad would listen to. Sleaze: Is that good or bad? Juliana: Well, it makes me horny- you tell me, is that good or bad? Sleaze: interviewing porn stars all the time is exhausting. Juliana: Ha, try being one! |
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Buy Juliana Kincaid movie for as low as $3.99 here!
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Remember, brothers and sisters, wherever you are, there’s a porn star
shining down on you. -Sleazegrinder ________________________________________________________________________ Julian Kincaid photos courtesy Rodney Moore Home |
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