Boneyard Press are outlaws. This is rare, perhaps unheard of in the world of comic book publishing. When I say outlaws, I don’t mean they kill people or rob banks (although- who knows?), I mean they operate outside of the geek-ridden comic publishing world, releasing a vast array of blood curdling titles (both comics and fiction) that cater to their own dark obsessions and whims. They also make their own in-house serial killer movies. They also bring half-naked chicks to comic book conventions, and if you can imagine such a thing, they make “Girls Gone Wild” styled videos while they’re there, just to prove it. In other words, Boneyard Press are a buncha bad asses, which means they are, most certainly, friends of mine. Recently, they sent me a batch of comixxx (and videos, but they arrived smashed to bits) that prove, without a doubt, that Splatterpunk lives and seethes. Dig it.

Zombie Commandos From Hell is a gonzo splatter series with so many whizzing, banging little plotlines going on, I can’t really tell who’s on what side, or what the fuck they’re fighting about. But it hardly matters, really. With a title like this, you’re pretty much in it for the shock value, and the blood and guts scream off the page every other panel. Steph Dumais’ blocky, minimalist style is more cartoonish than realistic.This has a dual effect- the all consuming gore is a little easier to take for the lily-livered types in comic land, and it adds a much-needed shot of humor when the characters are bogged down with howlers like, “The cyber is dead. Bring the others to the blood pumps.”

The story? Well, I might have this all wrong, but it’s post-apocalypse, and all that’s left are zombies, vampires, and a handful of hapless nomads. Oh, and some cyborgs. The vampires want to take over the world, so they drain the blood of the Nomads, because the zombies are allergic to the blood. Hence the blood pumps. I’m not sure why they wanna take it over, since there’s nothing left but rubble and fuckin’ zombies, but there ya go.

The coolest part of the Zombie Commandos series (I have the first 3, which lead up to “the Final Battle”- which may take a while) is that guest artists pop up outta nowhere and scratch out a few pages worth of grue. Then they split. It’s very much like when some hotshot guitarist shows up and lays a few riffs down on somebody else’s record. Guests include the bitchin’, hardcore horror artist Jake Karns, psycho punk deviant Jeff Gaither, and famed and fabled rock art/shemale fetishist, King fuckin’ Velveeda. Of course, even with the reasonably linear plot threading through the books, these guest shots wreak havoc with continuity. But you know what? Fuck continuity. Continuity is for pussies.

Best scene so far? Chick fight in a vat of blood in #2, drawn by Velveeda. They end up naked, covered in guts, and bitten by rats. One of the girls emerges victorious, so she pisses on the other one’s corpse. “You die now", she says. “So, I win.” Righteous.

Psycho Hunter
One Ju Gomez is the human behind the decidedly over-the-top Psycho Hunter. His drawing style is somewhere between Savage Pencil’s forceful scribbles and a schizophrenic’s desperate cries for help. I dig Gomez’ work for the same reason that other people might have a big problem with it- it’s fucked up. Sometimes the drawings aren’t even finished, and the big bad vampire bitch might just be a giant pair of tits, a mad bush of hair, and a pair of fangs. Sometimes the background of any given scene may devolve into a series of violently clashing srtipes. Sometimes a big, bloody scream might fill up a whole page. This makes me think that Gomez is so amped up on the crazed, violent kicks of the storyline, that he just can’t wait to get to the next page, the next gruesome execution or cannibal feast or entrail ripping.

Once again, I find myself losing the plot, but not really caring. It’s about demons who like to fight and who hang out at cocaine bars. It’s got evil chicks and tearing claws and dialogue straight out of a Slayer album. It is the absolute incarnation of speed metal aggression poured onto the page. If comic books had volume knobs, Psycho Hunter’s would have broken off long ago. Best line: “I’ll kill you all! Bring me the beasts balls!” Hey, we’ve all been there, right?

Flowers on the Razor Wire
Says “special holiday issue” on the cover, but what holiday could they possibly be referring to? Walpurgis Night? Anyway, with a title lifted from a line in a Sisters of Mercy song, you might expect a more goth approach to this one, and you’d get it, Jack. While other Boneyard titles bash you over the head with a meat hammer and thrashing powerchords, this one’s more of a slow burner, creepy and deliberate. Most of the stories inside are continuations, and having only seen this one, I can’t tell you much, but opening story “Dark Angel: The Quiet Demon” appears to be a “Killer Inside Me” story about a small time slasher and the abused, put-upon woman who loves him. Written in tight prose by Boneyard honcho Hart D. Fisher and drawn with equal precision by John Cassaday, this one reads like an eloquent suicide note. Another highlight is “Circles”, by Sandy B. Spreitz. Illustrated in watercolors- or at least what looks like watercolors- it’s a creepy, hallucinatory tale of a homicidal gay prostitute, and it’s frankly nihilistic edge resonates long after it’s over. “Flowers” also has a couple short fiction tales, and several slices of Boneyard’s patented splatter comix. More subdued than the others…but not by much.

Rectum Errectum
A fantastically insane comic written and illustrated by the improbably named Russian artist Eric Gnoeff. The story of an ass ripping killer running loose in the streets of New Jersey (Or “Joisey”, as they say in the book), “Rectum” looks like it was drawn by one of those unhinged Brit cartoonists from the 70’s. Actually, the whole book- with it’s cloying references to homosexuality and manners, punctuated with grisly mutilation scenes- seems like an underground comic from the UK, circa 1972. The fact that it’s not makes it all the more weird. Teddy bears (and Kermit the Frog) with big, dripping penises, assholes with teeth, disemboweled flashers- this one’s got the works. Fully amazing. First published in '92 and still available. If you only buy one mentally ill comic book this year, make it this one. It’s a disturbing classic.

Cadaver
From ’94, call this one a blast from Boneyard’s sordid past. It’s jam-packed full of splatter comic greats, from the typically over-the-top zombie slut gang bang cover courtesy S Clay Wilson- and further Wilson hijinks with a quick Checkered Demon gut spiller, “Gruesome Twosome” – to the Creepy magazine styled HP Lovecraft homage “Crack of Dawn” by Brad Moore. T Tyler gets the last laugh (or is that choking?) with the utterly rancid “Piggs and Stubb”, a humor (?) strip about a diseased dog and his legless, mutated cat buddy. Jesus, we were into some fucked up stuff ten years ago, weren’t we?
-Sleazegrinder

 

All Books are available from Boneyard Press.